This is the current dilemma I have running through my mind at 100mph! I keep telling myself if there wasn’t any sperm then I wouldn’t be thinking we should have a third child. That our family is now complete. We have two beautiful little girls who we absolutely adore and they are perfect. It’s bloody hard work and there are days when it feels too much to cope with and equally there are days where you feel like you’re sliding down rainbows eating candyfloss and ice cream with an ear to ear grin on your face. But would it be any harder or better with a third?
I think it would just take one parent to tell me they considered another baby and didn’t have one and now regret it for me to get straight down to the clinic and be inseminated-do not pass go and do not collect £200!!! You only have one life, its not a dress rehearsal, and I couldnt risk feeling any regret but then is it possible to feel regret the other way? Could you have changed the dynamic for the worse? Would it have been better, easier, happier with two? Geepers how on earth do people make these decisions? I guess you just close your eyes and go for it-take the plunge.
I’ve carried out a short survey with 3 child families…Well what that really means is I’ve spoken to about 4 families who have 3 kids and they are happy and look like they’ve got their s@#t together. I could totally do this. We could totally survive this.
But then there is the when? Geepers both are still currently in nappies, our sleep from ducklips is erratic to say the least, and the last 3 mornings I’ve folded myself in two to try and cuddle G Force back to sleep in her toddler bed (really must get her a proper bed soon or get a block booking with a chiropractor). If we leave it too long though we will get ‘comfy’ and that will be that idea out the window along with the moses basket, crib, sterliser and any other baby-related paraphernalia! But aww cute tiny babies. Little tiny fingers and toes and newborn baby smell. They smell like heaven.
If we did it now…(bugger I must be nuts) we would have 3 kids under 4. Gulp! What the hell am I smoking?! Would we really survive? How bad can it be? Course we would. We can take on the world together.
If the second child was pretty straightforward and easier than the first surely, the 3rd one just slots into place. I guess my biggest fear is what if we forget it. I don’t mean leave it out or not give it enough attention. I mean actually leave it somewhere. We will need to start doing a register wherever we go. They won’t all be wearing shoes or have their teeth brushed that’s for sure and no doubt there will be weeks where I would be lucky if I even shower at all! But weirdly it doesn’t put me off.
Once you’ve had one child you know what you’re letting yourself in for and you either love it or hate it. It’s marmite. There is no in between. And even though it truly is the pits at times. You feel like death warmed up. You flip your lid when another tantrum happens or you’re sick of cleaning up vomit/poo/food. There is still nothing better than that warmth you feel when your child smiles or laughs or cuddles or looks at you with an ‘I love you mummy’ face. I have enough love to go around for sure as it just seems to grow exponentially with each child so much so I could explode and if we had started sooner we would be like the family in Cheaper by the Dozen or the Von Trapps and don’t believe what L says – she would be too!
So while there is still sperm in the bank I’m pretty sure this feeling is not going to go away. Come on L surely it’s about time we made a withdrawal???