We had obviously had a good run of big sleeps in our house when we made the decision we wanted to try for another baby. G force was around the 7/8month mark and we had settled into a nice routine. We had ditched the bozos and spent our days a lot happier surrounded by the people we liked and sometimes just on our own which was equally as nice. L and I were enjoying parenthood and we were taking it in our stride.
I remember the night we finally decided. We had a childfree evening as the grandparents were on babysitting duties so we went for a much needed night out in our local town. We were so giddy with having a night off and there was no worries about the baby as we knew she was having fun. The grandparents would certainly be screwing up all that routine we had taking so long to establish, she’d be no doubt up late, eating chocolate and probably even cuddled to sleep! Crikey! How will we cope. Who cares? We had alcoholic beverages and each other and of course nothing to talk about but our baby!!! So we decided we would have another. Gulp. There were cocktails, there was a live band and on the way home there was a kebab and chicken wings in the taxi. Neither of which L remembered the next morning until she saw the empty takeout container’s. What a Bozo! I had the pleasure of reminding her about our decision to have another as well! Imagine if she had agreed to carry the next baby herself? That would’ve been funny seeing her face. Although I would be very rich if I had a pound for every person that asked me if L was going to be having the next one. It’s a total LOL thing to say when you know her. She doesn’t like being uncomfortable, ill or tired. Remember this is the other half who ‘doesn’t do nights’ and is not afraid to say. She’s just lucky when she said it I was in a good mood otherwise I couldn’t have been held responsible for my actions.
Neither of us wanted an only child as people tell you if you have two they will play together (they don’t tell you they will fight like cat and dog but that’s for another time) and we didn’t want a big age gap as they tell you its easier to get all the baby stuff out the way (but not that it’s like having two babies and you’re a contestant on the Krypton Factor trying to survive, again more on that later) but now it was just about when to try? The problem is you never know how long it’s going to take to get pregnant and I was going back to work in a few months so it was just thinking through the logistics of it all. With me having to do quite a bit of training on return to work and then the possibility of getting pregnant we decided it would be best to try now and see what happens.
So within a few weeks we were back at the clinic. Thankfully we didn’t need to have another counselling session but could pretty much start treatment straight away. They do a test of your ovarian reserve which is an indicator of your fertility which would reduce with age but turns out mine had gone up! Supposedly this can happen when you have just had a baby as you are more fertile. So fingers crossed.
We ordered another three ampoules of sperm from our donor hoping it wouldn’t take any more goes than that then the regular scanning began to track ovulation.
Insemination day arrived quickly this time round and we didn’t have as much time to think about it all as we had our baby to take our mind off the process. We had our favourite nurse there to bring us more good luck then it was straight home for me to do some handstands as gravity is bound to help! Isn’t it?
Even the two week wait didn’t feel so bad this time round and it was certainly less intense. Testing day was still as nerve wracking as ever but we were both quietly confident (although we hadn’t discussed this at the time) that we were pregnant. L had got to grips with the testing kit this time and thankfully we were not disappointed. We must’ve been super lucky as it worked first time round. We were elated and shocked all over again. Only thing was I found out I was pregnant the day before I returned to work from Mat leave!! When I told my boss how surprised we were his ‘you can’t have been that surprised! ‘ comment was amusing. Yes I know we had to plan it and yes we knew we had tried but we didn’t have a crystal ball to know it would work! So yes we were very surprised and over the moon!!
Must say the novelty wears off so much quicker second time round. Once the morning sickness kicked in just in time for Christmas I was thoroughly a miserable cow. Being pregnant while having a now 10 month old to look after whilst wanting to hold your head in the porcelain bowl was not great. Long gone were the days of being a pregnant princess who stroked her bump whilst daydreaming about how baby will become an astronaut or a zookeeper. Now I was just a mum who was pregnant who felt terrible. Only 8 months left to go!!!
Everything is different second time round. I remember at one of my doctors check up first time round and they asked how many weeks I was. Of course I knew. I knew the weeks, the days and the hours! And the doc said ‘aww that’s sweet but it all changes with the second’. I smiled and thought oh my word how could she not know how far gone she was with her second. Like who forgets that! But second time round it’s true. You don’t always know straight away. You sometimes forget yor pregnant. You don’t have the time for the app to check what cute food items the size of the baby relates to but I do wonder if G force had any vegetables today? Theres just no time to sit there day dreaming about your next baby when you have your first baby there that needs you.
So the months passed quite quickly. We had what we refer to as the black month. It was a month where we were all ill and felt crap and got little sleep for almost the whole month. If we had been like this around the time we considered having another I am certain we would’ve put it off it was really that bad. G force wasn’t sleeping she had a cough which kept her and us up at night. I had two rounds of antibiotics for sinusitis and every time I coughed (which was pretty much all day) I would wet myself and L was on antibiotics for tonsillitis. Honestly it was the pits. Totally s@#t! Even thinking about it now sends shudders through me. We were miserable with each other taking turns at sleeping on the sofa and also trying to manage with work too. Plus we are rubbish with each other being sick at the best of times so add in my hormones and you may as well shoot us and put us out of our misery. Thank god when April arrived.
Second time round you go to appointments and you have to take the baby with you so you’re not really paying much attention. At the scans your just waiting for the quick ‘yes everything looks fine’ and you’re ready to leave rather than having those lovely moments looking into each others eyes all filled up with tears and emotion. We did do this but L looked like she was going to cry as g force had just nutted her as she was trying to stop her from pulling apart the ultrasound machine.
One good thing which was confirmed at the start of the pregnancy was that after the complications and trauma of the first birth we had a c section booked in for number 2 baby. It was like booking a dental appointment. ‘Would you like Thursday or Friday?’ Super! Something for us both to look forward to!
Another thing about second time round, especially towards the end, I felt I was under this continuing pressure (probably all my own doing) to make sure I got ‘quality’ time with my first born. You feel guilty that you’re about to change their lives in an instant so you go out of your way to try and commit to this ‘quality’ time even though a huge reason you’re having another child is ultimately for them! It’s all part of that parenthood guilt that regularly rears it’s ugly head! To be honest by the 37th week of pregnancy quality time involved me lying on the sofa stuffing my fat face with cake and using television as my entertainment tool for g force. And I’m not talking for short bursts of time, as shameful as it was, I’m talking about the whole afternoon. Now and again I would roll myself onto the floor and show a vague interest in some sort of toy she was battering off the walls but mainly I was just surviving. Anything goes until the birth day arrives. Let the madness continue.